Tuesday, December 27, 2011

January 8, 2011--beauty...

So, she hadn't even gotten it when I saw her at work this morning. And so I of course had gotten no response from her, and spent last night, the birth day of my dear friend's children, both excited and happy about their arrival and terrified that I had ruined something that hasn't even really begun with 10.0. But I was determined not to let this ruin my chances at getting her to fall in love with me, damn it, so I resolved to pop into her office this morning and sheepishly and cutely ask if she'd gotten my sappy message. So I did, AND SHE HADN'T! Amazing. It was like the one time she hadn't immediately seen something I'd said to her on fb. So she immediately went to check it and I stopped her, saying coyly 'No no, wait, read it after I leave because it's really sappy and I'm embarrassed!' so I darted out, and later she had written me back that it was a sweet message, not sappy, and she was happy we were becoming friends too! And...I breathed a huge sigh of relief and was floating.

Then.

I forwarded her an adorable dog picture that a friend had sent me, and she proceeded to become obsessed with it and immediately shared it on her fb page. So I then used the opportunity to go talk to her, of course, and we then spent the next 15 minutes watching videos of the cute dog, boo, and of Maru, my favorite facebook cat. It was great...I sat next to her, took her in. Beautiful. She thought they were the greatest thing, and didn't hide it, and was so beautiful.

But I forgot the most amazing part! *smacks forehead* As I entered her office to talk about the cute dog, she says shyly "I have something for you..." "What?" "I didn't want to not do what I said, so..." and she hands me a little coffee cup. A cappucino. She brought me a cappucino. This is VERY significant b/c a few days earlier, on one of the first days of our heavy-duty interacting, she'd joked about getting coffee for the whole office, then didn't, then I teased her about being a tease...and so...she got me a coffee. She even sprinkled cinnamon on top. "It's cold now, you don't have to take it..." "No, no! I want it, this is so sweet, really, thank you..." We held each other's gaze a bit longer than necessary, like we always do, and I took it like it was the most precious gift. And that's when we started watching cute animal videos....

ANYWAY! She then came to the dance party (I'll explain what that is later, maybe) danced silly, watched me wiggling around (I caught her in my peripheral vision), and INVITED US TO COME TO HER BAR. She was bartending that night, we should come by...It was what I had been waiting for. The moment had arrived. She was inviting me in...

She then left because she had to go home and have a "secret rendezvous" with her girlfriend :( before going to work, and I then talked for a long time with my friends at work about how strongly I'm pulled to 10.0, how much I want her, how undeniable the attraction feels, and then how sad it makes me that most likely nothing will ever happen. Because she's with someone, and seems really committed to her...So then I was a bit sad, as reality hit me in a strong wave and I felt like a bit of a fool. But at the same time, I still wanted to see her. I wanted, like always, to be wherever she was. If that was all I could have of her, I would take it. And cherish it.

And so...we went to the bar... (to be continued...)

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