Tuesday, December 27, 2011

January 9, 2011--confession...

huh.

so, i just had a facebook chat with 10.0. i initiated it. i couldn't help myself! i wanted to talk to her, and i saw that she was online. so i chatted with her, and we ended up chatting for 40 minutes.

i told her that i'm into women. i wasn't really planning to, it just sort of came out. twice.

i told her that i want an open relationship with my husband. i think i also mentioned that twice.

she told me that "what she likes about me" is that i'm a bit of an enabler. she told me i was funny.

she seemed genuinely concerned about my home life, asking "how things are at home," etc. i'm not sure what to make of that...

she also told me that she had a lobster dinner with her girlfriend tonight and that her girlfriend "cutely" asked a lot of questions about what it's like to eat a lobster. (i don't think this is cute at all. but i went with it.)

she seemed to really want to know about my status with my husband, but was then pretty vague about her own 'ship. when i poked a bit, she said that she'd considered ending her relationship over winter break, i.e. in the past month, but that then "something worked" but she doesn't know what worked but that now it "feels better, mostly" and she's still trying to figure out what she wants out of a relationship, but that she's not "looking to go anywhere" so she's fine with seeing what happens. huh. that sounds really exciting and passionate, doesn't it?

not.

i know i'm being petty and jealous. i know. but 10.0's girlfriend is not pretty. and she seems really boring and lame and dull compared to 10.0. which of course might be why they're together...but why not me???

i strangely feel much more calm now. talking to her was cathartic. i got it out, at least some of it. i told her that i'm into chicks. so now she can at least see me as a potential partner, realistically. no more wondering if i'd be interested. i just told her that i am. maybe i'll get some sleep tonight.

1 comment:

  1. You are definitely an enabler. In a good way. :)

    ReplyDelete