Friday, December 30, 2011

February 7, 2011--closer...

what a rough day...

here's is an excerpt from some mobile blogging i did on the train today:
she told me that ss (her girlfriend) doesn't even really like her dog. that one really got to me, and i told her so. i spent alot of time cuddling with her, and i love that ugly, smelly dog.
she asked about my family, i told her about my relationship with my brother, how my parents don't really see me. she took me to her local weekend stomping ground, a great cafe that she spends her weekends in. she appreciates good food, and bought a plate of bacon for her dog.
But then she tells me how she and ss had a nice night sat and sun. :( how?

and then I wonder, was there a sexual attraction between us? Or were we both on our best behavior? or is there nothing to even be holding back? but there were many long lingering looks, and ss was exasperated with her when 10.0 texted her that I'd stayed over, and she did say i slept on the couch. which i didn't. and there were the long leg touches. hmm...
today I barely saw her, and am only a smidge sad about it, which speaks to how tired/busy/overwhelmed I currently am. I said hi, she told me a bit about her weekend, that she and ss had a nice weekend. (how?? how is that possible!?) later I gave her a little tickle in the center of her back with my index finger when i passed her in the kitchen, and i think it crossed some intimacy line, even though it felt natural...but then I didn't really see her, and she wasn't/isn't on fb...
so. I don't know. i need to be patient and let it unfold and just wait for her to fall in love with me (ha), but, have you heard?
one of the things that I am least is patient. Ugh ugh ugh.

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