Friday, January 6, 2012

March 21 2011--documenting...

i realized i haven't written down what's been going on with c. so......

i've seen her 2 more times now, once on st. patrick's day, and again on saturday. when i saw her on thursday, it was really weird. i'd had a hard day already, and had then been drinking with a friend since 6, went on a wild goose chase in search of a lesbo dance party, and didn't meet up with her until 11. so i was tired, dressed in my mormon work skirt, not feeling cute at. all. and then, as we were talking, it was clear that something was different. she was being more distant, she was smirking at me as i was "making eyes" at her, being clear about my attraction to her, and said things like "ha, you want to make out with me, don't you?" and making it clear that just because we had before did not mean we would again.


she got annoyed that i was confused by her mixed signals, and then proceeded to tell me about how she's in love with her best friend from home. she clearly knew this was confusing and irritating to me, as she often said things like "you must hate me right now, you're so annoyed with me right now." well, yeah! what the fuck, right? ugh, go figure. so with all of this weirdness, there was still a little making out, initiated by her, but then she was saying vaguely critical things to me about my "smirk" and how i was being too "defensive." i really don't know what she was talking about when she was saying these things, but it was very clear that i was irritating her, and i didn't hide the fact that she was irritating me. so then she abruptly wants to go outside for a smoke, i follow, we talk, we bicker, and as i'm gearing up to figure out how to get to the PATH train, she says, "okay, let's go home."

"Wahuh??" I say.

"Well, you have to be at work early, right? so you should come to my place, it's closer than jersey." (Note: I was living in Jersey at this point. so sad.)

ooooooookay. so we cab it up to her apt., me leaning on her shoulder in the cab, looking at pictures of her dog and her family on her phone, me asking about her work, her leaning her head on mine. it was a nice moment...then we're out of the cab and it's weird again. we get to her place, she finds me pajama pants, we talk about her sick grandmother and how sad she is about it, i complain about having to go work the next morning, she says, and I quote, "you're so whiny, i don't care." i'm baffled, as i have only ever listened to her talk about herself and i can count on 1 hand how many questions she's had about me, i climb into the bed, she decides to order food, i fall asleep, and when i wake up in the morning, she's sleeping on the pull out bed in the living room.


what the fuck.

so then it was awkward as we both wake up and i ask her random-ass questions as i try to reconnect with her. she mumbles and grunts and groans and tells me she slept in the living room because she was "on the phone" (with her ex, i think) and didn't want to disturb me. fine, whatever. so i get my self together, say goodbye (actually, "see you later...maybe.") and leave. and then i was bewildered the entire day as i tried to figure out what the fuck just happened. later that day, i texted her the following:
"Hey-so yesterday was kinda weird, i was in a weird mood, we clearly sort of annoy each other and you're mad confusing to me, BUT...I still think you're cool and fun to hang with and I'd like to get to know you, NO EXPECTATIONS, so...there you go. :)"

she immediately texted back: "Exactly my thoughts."

huh. i did not see that coming.

so then...after a bit of flirty txting, we ended up meeting up on saturday night...

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I never finished writing down whatever happened next. I have no clue. But I can guarantee that it was weird and awkward and probably dumb and I didn't see her again after that. Blegh. And so I entered the lesbian dating world, my friends! Here we go....

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