Thursday, January 26, 2012

January 15, 2012--unknowns

I have such a hard time with unknowns.

My entire relationship with SC right now is an unknown.

As you might imagine, I am having a hard time with this.

I'm worried that as we spend this weekend apart she's slowly realizing she made a mistake by opening the door to us trying to date.

I'm worried that she's like "HOLY SHIT that girl is so clingy and weird, ew ew ew!"

But then I'm like, "but SHE'S the one who said she could MARRY ME and MOVE IN WITH ME."

And SHE'S the one who was just as excited as I was to make out and cuddle and actually talk about how we feel about each other.

Right???

Right.

Right?

But I feel like I need to say to her, "Are you sure? Is it okay that I like you so much? Am I going to scare you away because I like you? But, don't you like me so much too? How do we do this without freaking out??? Is it okay that I want to talk to you and ask you questions and tell you random things that I'm thinking and kiss you alot?? Is that okay??"

On the one hand I feel like maybe it's a bad sign that I feel so nervous about this. But on the other hand, it's not so much that I'm nervous in a bad way? I'm just eager. So eager to get to know her. REALLY KNOW HER. I'm so excited. She's really so brilliant and lovely. I hope she let's me tell her that. Every day.

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