Friday, April 4, 2014

coming out...again.

This weekend Elle and I are heading to my alma mater for a reunion weekend.  This will be the first time that I see a lot of these people in over 10 years (ugh. I'm old.) and the first time many of them will find out that I'm....gay now.  

It gets so tiring having to keep coming out, you know? It never ends.

I've been trying to figure out how I feel about this.  I mean, the good thing about this weekend is that it's a mix of a bunch of different graduating classes coming together, which means that many of these people barely even know who I am, so it'll obviously be no big (or shouldn't be, at least) for any of them when I roll up with my girlfriend.

For those that I did know oh-so-long ago, will I have to give the whole "yep! I'm divorced and a lesbian now! Crazy, huh!?" speech for the hundredth time? I'm kind of over that, to be honest. Like, does this need to be a thing??

The hard thing is that I just don't know what to prepare for, and I like to be prepared.  It might be a non-issue, as it should be. But it also might be a "oh wow...wow, really!" thing, too. The harder thing is that Elle is a bit nervous about being introduced to my old college friends/acquaintances and I can't even tell her what to expect, to help her feel better. All I can say is "Who the fuck cares what anyone thinks, let's go and have a good time and enjoy being there together!"  It should be fun? I think? Probably?

But I can't anticipate how it will be. How will I feel, stepping back on the campus of my undergrad years, where I met my ex-husband, holding my girlfriend's hand?

I think that part, at least, will feel pretty awesome.

xx




2 comments:

  1. I found this blog when I was 28, in love for the very first time with a woman. I read your every word like a lovesick teenager. Lol! I kept saying, this could be me! I guess I'm lucky in that I'm still with my 1st :-) But its been one hell of a ride. Its now 2 yrs later and I am now turning 31 (in December 2014). I'm slowly catching up on the continuance of your story and this post had me breaking my silence... I feel you! I'm hoping that as I read on, you find yourself in a better place because that would give me so much hope! Aluta continua <3 Sending love from South Africa

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  2. Here here sis! #VivaLove Who knew healthy relationships could feel so gooooood?

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