on Sochi

I love the Olympics. I still have memories of staying up until 2 am as a kid, watching the primetime Olympic coverage to the very end almost every night, if I could get away with it. I love the stories, the drama, watching people who've spent their entire lives working toward Olympic gold triumphing or failing, and the beauty and humanity of the entire spectacle. 

I. Love. Me. Some. Olympics.

I'm feeling a bit unsure about them this year, though. As you probably know, Russia has a new anti-gay law that bans "propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations to minors" i.e. "distributing information among minors that 1) is aimed at the creating nontraditional sexual attitudes, 2) makes nontraditional sexual relations attractive, 3) equates the social value of traditional and nontraditional sexual relations, or 4) creates an interest in nontraditional sexual relations".   Breaking this law can result in hefty fines or jail time.  But in actuality, what this law has done is make it open season on gays in Russia. Hate crimes against gay people in Russia are rampant, are often perpetuated by Russian officials, and the perpetrators of these crimes are not being arrested or in any way disciplined. The gay people they are victimizing are considered the criminals. This, is, obviously, despicable.

Also, last month, another law was being proposed by Russian lawmaker Alexei  Zhuravlyov to strip parenting rights from gay parents who used to be in straight relationships. He says: "In case any parent openly propagates homosexuality and only in this case, if the family splits, a child should exclusively stay with a parent who has heterosexual way of life." I MEAN....What the fuck.

And yet, this place, Russia, where such enormous human rights violations are occurring, is hosting the world's biggest sporting event, where all nations are supposed to come together, put aside their differences, and bond over our shared humanity.

Something's not adding up.

Of course, many human rights groups, governments, and more recently, corporations, are denouncing Russia's laws and calling for a boycott of the Olympics. And a large part of me feels that that's the right thing to do. But what about all of the gay athletes? What are they supposed to do?? They've worked, some of them, their entire lives for the chance to compete in an Olympic Games--how could they just NOT GO??

A few months ago, Johnny Weir, an openly gay figure skater, addressed this question and explained why he feels that athletes, gay or straight, shouldn't boycott the games. Here he is on Keith Olbermann (wearing a Russian military uniform, BY THE WAY):

If you don't want to watch that (like if you happen to find Johnny Weir insufferable...I sometimes find him pompous, and sometimes find him wonderful...it's very confusing), basically he said that it would invalidate all of the sacrifices his family had made for him, and negate his entire life's work, for him to boycott the Olympics, and that this is true for every athlete. He also said that even if people/athletes do boycott the games, the games will still happen, and that not going would give the propaganda more strength. He's saying that, by going, by showing up, specifically as a gay athlete, he will be making a powerful statement. And I get that. But, that being said, Johnny Weir is not actually competing.  He didn't register for the qualifying competition that determined the Olympic team, which strikes me as....odd. If you've spent your whole life as an athlete, why would you not register to qualify for the Olympics???? He will be there though, doing commentary for NBC, but still...weird.

I digress. This post is not supposed to be about Johnny Weir, my bad.

So, my favorite reaction to Russia's terrible politics is that of President Obama, and his decision to send a US delegation with several openly-gay members to the Olympics (including Brian Boitano, who came out publicly as a gay man after being appointed to the delegation--love it), while no one from the president's or vice-president's families will attend. OH SNAP. Read more about this here and here .

Speaking of figure skating (it might be kind of obvious at this point that I really like figure skating?...I really like figure skating, not in small part because it is filled to the brim with gays and I love it), SNL did a great sketch about how things might go if the US tried to make sure that none of the male skaters could be perceived as gay.

Bleak.

The Canadian Institute of Diversity and Inclusion put out this great PSA about how the Olympics "have always been a little gay", which, I mean, OBVIOUSLY. It's just 30 seconds of 2 dudes getting ready to luge. Perfection.

So, with all of this said, I'm still going to watch the Olympics, and will probably watch a LOT of Olympics, and will still love seeing the human drama play out and will love seeing people achieve their dreams and will fiercely root for the underdog. But I'll watch it all with a since of...unease. Because a lot of wrong is happening in Sochi.

But this 

Norwegian Curling Team

will also happen in Sochi, and I am SO HERE FOR THAT.

What are your thoughts on all this? Talk to me, lovelies.

xx

Follow @edie_wyatt  

How does your garden grow?

Lately, Elle and I have been in a bit of a battle about vagina hair.



Yep. You read that right.

I prefer to keep myself completely clean shaven. This is a post-becoming-a-lesbian thing. In my life before, I was a bit… hairier, as if I wasn’t so concerned about how the dining was for my male paramours, and I guess I wasn't? I mean, I wasn’t unkempt but…what I’m trying to say is that there was quite a bit of (neatly groomed) hair down there and I never really thought much about it.

I realize now that a big reason for that is that the men I was with were never particularly interested in going down on me and I wasn’t sexually experienced enough to know that they should be, or sexually empowered enough to know that I wanted them to be, yes please very much thank you.

So, there really wasn’t all that much thought going into the…place setting, if you will.

But then. Then I started going down on women and, well, I started paying a lot more attention to the set dressing.  I experienced some variety in my early exploits, ranging from nothing at all to “bust out the weed whacker.” I also became very aware that someone else’s face was going to be all up in my business (if all went according to plan), and you know how there’s that saying that women (regardless of sexuality, in my opinion) dress for other women? Well, I definitely dress my vagina for other women. When men were involved, I barely thought about it, but once a lady was going to be seeing my sacred garden? I cared.

And so I started grooming more, but was a bit scared at first to actually shave everything off. That just seemed…risky. I mean, one false move and—yikes, you know?  And I was not about to go get waxed. Mainly because I was broke, but also mainly because I am just not that much of a masochist.  But then, one of my hairless lady friends, who I assumed waxed, informed me that she just shaved all the hair away, and that it really wasn’t so hard to do! Realllyyyyyyyy????? I said.

And the heavens opened.

From that point on, I’ve kept things pretty clean down below, and I love it. I think everything feels better when there’s nothing in the way of all of that delicious friction, and I also just like that my girlfriend won’t have my pubes in her mouth. So, there’s that.

But here’s the thing? Elle likes me to leave a bit of a landing strip, at minimum. *EPIC SIGH* So a few months ago, I grew things out quite a bit for her, much to my chagrin. I was not having it, y'all. She loved it, of course.  And then I found a gray hair down there and that was the end of that. LOL SOB NEVER AGAIN.  Now, though I would much rather be completely hairless, I do still leave a landing strip, because that’s what she likes and I aim to please.

So then, of course, there’s the question of what I prefer on her? And this might sound lame, but it’s really true: I do not give a shit, as long as I can get my face down there.

Well, I guess that’s not entirely true, I’m not into the entirely untamed look (or feel), but literally anything short of bushwhacker territory is A-OK in my book.

So what about you, lovelies? How do you prefer to dine? What do you prefer for yourself?  Comment away, let’s talk about vagina hair!

xx

Follow @edie_wyatt

PUT IT ON YOUR FACE: Urban Decay NAKED Palette

Hello lovelies!!

So. This is obviously not a beauty blog. Obviously. But still, as I’ve gotten back into makeup lately, there are some things I’m really wanting to gush about. And, luckily, this is my blog, so I can do whatever the fuck I want! And…who knows, I might post about something that you'll wanna try and then realize you love too. Fantastic. These might happen once a week, maybe less often…who knows. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Please meet the love of my life (sorry, babe):

Isn’t she beautiful?

I realize I’m way behind with discovering the joys of the Naked Palette, since the Naked 3 palette just came out, but you know what? Whatever. There's something to be said for appreciating the classics.

I was lucky enough to be gifted this by my boo for Christmas, and I have literally not worn any other eyeshadows since. I have worn some combination of these every single day. It is THAT GOOD. These colors look great on my dark skin tone, there are options for day looks or evening looks, and more importantly, this palette is perfect for an amateur who is still figuring out how to wear eyeshadow without looking like a clown. You can pretty much try any combination and still look good. It's magical. I dig it.

My favorite colors right now are Smog and Gunmetal (the 7th and last colors in the pic above). But they’re all gorgeous. It can feel a little overwhelming to have so many colors to play with, though it is also glorious, and I found some handy YouTube videos that held my hand at the beginning. If you have or get Naked (ooh, sexy) and feel overwhelmed by all of the gorgeous possibilities, some of the videos below might help. Some of these may seem a bit complicated, but I really just used them to help me figure out which colors to put where. I have yet to wear an eye makeup look as heavy as any of these (and never wear the primer that comes with the palette, which makes the color pop alot more), but they're a great jumping off point. Be brave and try the color combos regardless of your skin tone! They will likely look great regardless.














Honestly, though, each color looks pretty great on its own. They all have quite a bit of depth, so even if you just sweep one color over your lid, with the right brush, you’ll be good to go. One day I just wore Smog, blended well, and Elle thought I had 3 different shades on. Sorcery, I tell you.

I love this thing so much. If you’ve ever been considering whether or not to get it, or if you’re trying to dive into wearing eye makeup, just do it. If you hate it, come bitch at me about it. I expect to hear from exactly zero of you. :)

(And no, I am in no way affiliated with Urban Decay, and this is not a sponsored post! I’m just a huge, newly devoted fan.)

xx

Follow @edie_wyatt

Resolutions (and...a poll!)

Hi lovelies!

I'm excited about this new year, especially because this year is the year that I will self-publish my book! I'm really excited to share my whole story with all of you. As much as you know about my journey already from following my blog, there's SO MUCH MORE that happened before where this blog picked up, it's pretty cray and fairly hilarious when it's not, well...tragic. But then it gets less tragic! Can't wait for you all to read it.

I've started working on the book cover design, and am resolving to write/edit regularly so that I can GET IT DONE. As much as I want to do it, it's also a pretty daunting task. I mean, what the fuck do I know about publishing a book? Nothing, that's what. So it's a learning process, and a slow one, but I will do it, and I will do it THIS YEAR!

Get pumped.

I also want to write more here this year. To be honest, I've been feeling confused and conflicted about how to use this blog lately. It started out as my place to angst about the confusing mess my life was in, but very thankfully things aren't NEARLY so confusing or messy anymore, so there's much less angst-ing to be done, but...I still want to write and share and dialogue with you guys.  I of course have more to say about my experiences as a new lesbian, but I'm wondering...what else would you want to read? Here are some ideas I have:

• My opinions on various LGBTQ goings on, politically speaking

• A "book club" of sorts: I'm reading constantly, and always have plenty to say about the books I read--I'm thinking maybe a "I've read this! Have you? You should! Now let's talk about it!" kind of thing

• Beauty picks--as some of you know, I've been embracing my femme-y, make-up loving side lately, and have lots to say about the stuff I'm loving/using/drooling over, but obviously this is NOT a beauty blog. Wondering if people want to read about this stuff?

• Q&A/Advice-this one would depend totally on you guys, of course, but I would love to answer people's questions about relationships/dating stuff/coming out/identity stuff, since I've been through so much of it myself, and provide a space (in the comments) where you can talk to each other!

So, does anyone want to read any of that? Leave your thoughts in the comments, please and thank you!

(If no one does, and I'm left to my own devices, I might just start writing about whatever I happen to be thinking about every day.  Fair warning, what I think about every day is One Direction, how cute my girlfriend is, what I want to be eating right now, and Harry Styles, so...you've been warned)

xx

Follow @edie_wyatt

Namesake

Today as I was scrolling through my twitter timeline, I saw a tweet mentioning Edie Windsor, and I realized, for the first time, how awesome and inspiring it is that my name--well, the name you lovelies know me by, at least--is Edie, too. It's funny because it wasn't intentional at all. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, way back when I picked the name, I had heard of Edie Windsor, but I definitely didn't know much about her, other than that she was important to the gay rights movement for some reason, and I certainly didn't know at the time the extent of her impact on this country, or the extent of her bravery.

For those of you who might not know, Edie Windsor sued the US government in 2010 after she was forced to pay over $300K in taxes after her wife (Thea Spyer) died. The short version of why is that she'd had to pay those taxes because the government didn't recognize Edie and Thea's marriage. And so, like the bad-ass bitch she is, she sued. And in June of 2013, she fucking won.  Her win was the final nail in the coffin of DOMA (the "Defense Of Marriage" act) which kept married gay couples from being able to take advantage of tons of federal provisions, like the surviving-spouse estate tax exemption that would have kept Edie from having to pay all that money after Thea's death.  As a result of Edie's case, the Supreme Court declared DOMA unconstitutional, a HUGE victory for gay rights--and this happened because Edie fought back.

Edie Windsor was on the short list for Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2013, and they did a great profile on her, check it out if you want to learn more (and you should!)

There's also a documentary about Edie and Thea (Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement), which I think is on Netflix. I haven't watched it yet because I am not yet ready to cry for a thousand years.  If you watch it, or have seen it already, let me know in the comments if I will die from all the feelings.

So anyway, my point is that Edie Windsor is super cool you guys.  It may sound corny, but I feel lucky to share my name, even if only in this space, with such an inspiring woman. So, just thought I'd share that.

<3

Follow @edie_wyatt

giving me life

Things I  am thankful for today, as I struggle through this inane last workday before the holiday break:

1. My girlfriend
2. Tumblr
3. One Direction
4. Buzzfeed
5. The wine that I will drink when I get home.
6. Fanfiction

That's it. That is this entire blog post.

Follow @edie_wyatt

I was robbed. Again.

I'm feeling very bitter today, as I have been robbed again. I think this is the 4th time now.

(Warning: This is a very rant-y, angry post. Feel free to skip it, but also feel free to comment about how sucky this is, I could use some virtual hugs you guys.)

The first time was the worst. I was a few months into my life after leaving my marriage, was finally feeling (close to being able to be) back on my feet, wasn't sleeping on an air mattress anymore, and had just bought a new laptop. The laptop purchase was annoying because I hadn't planned on it, but my old one had died, and it was significant because at least I (thought I) COULD buy myself a new computer. This was a first for me, at 29, buying my own goddamn computer.

So that's where I was at when I got a voicemail one afternoon from my roommate telling me to call her. Now, she did this a lot, and never said why she was calling, so I usually delayed in calling her back since I was at work. She called again. Then texted me saying "We've been robbed."

I immediately felt cold and hot and scared and angry and sad and betrayed by the world.

It turns out that someone who used to live in the apartment had kept their keys, the landlord had failed to demand them back and hadn't changed the locks, and someone they knew likely swiped said keys or was given them, had scoped out the apartment to figure out a good time to rob us, and just walked in and took all of our shit. They took my new computer, they took my OLD computer, they took my engagement and wedding rings that I was saving for when I needed the money, they took a Coach bag (another thing I was holding onto for a rainy day), and they ransacked my room.

It was one of the worst feelings. I mean, WHY ME? I try so hard to follow the rules, to be kind, to be fair, to not take what's not mine, to earn what I have.  And yet someone thought it was okay to just waltz right in and take my shit. They thought it was okay and they DID it, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT.

I was so depressed after that. And super broke, as I had to buy another computer. To add insult to injury, I hadn't yet gotten renter's insurance, because I'd only been in the place for a few months, and was pretty broke. LOL never again. Word to the wise, lovely readers, ALWAYS HAVE INSURANCE. THE WORLD SUCKS. PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Not soon after the burglary, my car got broken into while it was parked right in front of my building. They took my GPS and my watch (a gift from my father) that time. I missed work that day because my car was sitting there with a bashed in window and I had to get that taken care of. I moved shortly thereafter. 

My car got broken into again about a year later. There wasn't much to take that time, just my girlfriend's really nice duvet (why was that in the car, exactly? I don't know.) and a board game. Literally that's all that was in my car. A blanket and "Friends Scene It". Thanks for smashing my window AGAIN you fucking assholes, so that now you can be warm and snuggly while you find out who knows the name on Chandler's TV Guide! (It's Ms. Chanandler Bong, in case you were wondering. I was really good at Friends Scene It.)

Then, for over a year, things were quiet. I was not made to lament the lack of humanity of my fellow humans (well, for the most part). I didn't feel violated or betrayed or like I had gotten the short-end of the stick for the umpteenth time, been screwed over when I didn't deserve it. Yippee.

About two months ago, though, someone managed to steal my debit card while it was still in my wallet. Cool. Luckily, the bank caught it in time that no money was actually taken from my account, but I was without a bank card over a weekend in which I needed my bank card for about 5 different things, so that was really stressful and fun. THANKS THIEVES! Luckily, Elle was able to help me that weekend. But if she couldn't have, or if I was on my own, I would have been thoroughly screwed. After that, I got a credit card (I'd been living without any credit cards for awhile, to keep myself out of debt), realizing that without any safety net, I was at some point gonna be up Shit Creek without a paddle the next time some criminals decided to ruin my week and steal from me.

And this weekend, ta-dah! It happened again. But worse this time. Some asswipe charged $836 dollars on my debit card, which, again, was IN MY WALLET, at H&M and Macy's. Wow, how nice for them, I hope you got some really nice stuff asshole. Meanwhile, I now have pennies in my bank account because you drained it on your shopping spree and I have no idea when I'll get my money back and it is CHRISTMAS TIME. And I was planning to buy gifts for my family this week. And I need to get to the airport, and pay for my bag, and EAT. Thank god I got a credit card in a paranoid fit, because otherwise, I'd be ENTIRELY FUCKED.

I really cannot even begin to express how angry I am. I guess maybe all of the capslock in this post hints at it, though.

Like, why is this our world? Why do people steal? Whyyyyyyyyy. And it's not like this joker was buying food. No, they were living it up at a department store. Hell, I'd LOVE to go drop $400 at Macy's, can I come next time?

Fucking bullshit.

This morning, as I was in the mirror getting ready for work, thinking about all of this, wondering when/if I'll get my money back, what I'm going to do if I don't, when I will be able to spend a large chunk of a day at the police station filing a report, my lip started twitching crazily. That's never happened before. It's clearly a sign of stress and pent up rage, and I did not like it one bit. It freaked me out, to be honest.

And that's what I get for being...a completely functional, honest, working, well-behaved citizen. 

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Follow @edie_wyatt