giving me life

Things I  am thankful for today, as I struggle through this inane last workday before the holiday break:

1. My girlfriend
2. Tumblr
3. One Direction
4. Buzzfeed
5. The wine that I will drink when I get home.
6. Fanfiction

That's it. That is this entire blog post.

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I was robbed. Again.

I'm feeling very bitter today, as I have been robbed again. I think this is the 4th time now.

(Warning: This is a very rant-y, angry post. Feel free to skip it, but also feel free to comment about how sucky this is, I could use some virtual hugs you guys.)

The first time was the worst. I was a few months into my life after leaving my marriage, was finally feeling (close to being able to be) back on my feet, wasn't sleeping on an air mattress anymore, and had just bought a new laptop. The laptop purchase was annoying because I hadn't planned on it, but my old one had died, and it was significant because at least I (thought I) COULD buy myself a new computer. This was a first for me, at 29, buying my own goddamn computer.

So that's where I was at when I got a voicemail one afternoon from my roommate telling me to call her. Now, she did this a lot, and never said why she was calling, so I usually delayed in calling her back since I was at work. She called again. Then texted me saying "We've been robbed."

I immediately felt cold and hot and scared and angry and sad and betrayed by the world.

It turns out that someone who used to live in the apartment had kept their keys, the landlord had failed to demand them back and hadn't changed the locks, and someone they knew likely swiped said keys or was given them, had scoped out the apartment to figure out a good time to rob us, and just walked in and took all of our shit. They took my new computer, they took my OLD computer, they took my engagement and wedding rings that I was saving for when I needed the money, they took a Coach bag (another thing I was holding onto for a rainy day), and they ransacked my room.

It was one of the worst feelings. I mean, WHY ME? I try so hard to follow the rules, to be kind, to be fair, to not take what's not mine, to earn what I have.  And yet someone thought it was okay to just waltz right in and take my shit. They thought it was okay and they DID it, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT.

I was so depressed after that. And super broke, as I had to buy another computer. To add insult to injury, I hadn't yet gotten renter's insurance, because I'd only been in the place for a few months, and was pretty broke. LOL never again. Word to the wise, lovely readers, ALWAYS HAVE INSURANCE. THE WORLD SUCKS. PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

Not soon after the burglary, my car got broken into while it was parked right in front of my building. They took my GPS and my watch (a gift from my father) that time. I missed work that day because my car was sitting there with a bashed in window and I had to get that taken care of. I moved shortly thereafter. 

My car got broken into again about a year later. There wasn't much to take that time, just my girlfriend's really nice duvet (why was that in the car, exactly? I don't know.) and a board game. Literally that's all that was in my car. A blanket and "Friends Scene It". Thanks for smashing my window AGAIN you fucking assholes, so that now you can be warm and snuggly while you find out who knows the name on Chandler's TV Guide! (It's Ms. Chanandler Bong, in case you were wondering. I was really good at Friends Scene It.)

Then, for over a year, things were quiet. I was not made to lament the lack of humanity of my fellow humans (well, for the most part). I didn't feel violated or betrayed or like I had gotten the short-end of the stick for the umpteenth time, been screwed over when I didn't deserve it. Yippee.

About two months ago, though, someone managed to steal my debit card while it was still in my wallet. Cool. Luckily, the bank caught it in time that no money was actually taken from my account, but I was without a bank card over a weekend in which I needed my bank card for about 5 different things, so that was really stressful and fun. THANKS THIEVES! Luckily, Elle was able to help me that weekend. But if she couldn't have, or if I was on my own, I would have been thoroughly screwed. After that, I got a credit card (I'd been living without any credit cards for awhile, to keep myself out of debt), realizing that without any safety net, I was at some point gonna be up Shit Creek without a paddle the next time some criminals decided to ruin my week and steal from me.

And this weekend, ta-dah! It happened again. But worse this time. Some asswipe charged $836 dollars on my debit card, which, again, was IN MY WALLET, at H&M and Macy's. Wow, how nice for them, I hope you got some really nice stuff asshole. Meanwhile, I now have pennies in my bank account because you drained it on your shopping spree and I have no idea when I'll get my money back and it is CHRISTMAS TIME. And I was planning to buy gifts for my family this week. And I need to get to the airport, and pay for my bag, and EAT. Thank god I got a credit card in a paranoid fit, because otherwise, I'd be ENTIRELY FUCKED.

I really cannot even begin to express how angry I am. I guess maybe all of the capslock in this post hints at it, though.

Like, why is this our world? Why do people steal? Whyyyyyyyyy. And it's not like this joker was buying food. No, they were living it up at a department store. Hell, I'd LOVE to go drop $400 at Macy's, can I come next time?

Fucking bullshit.

This morning, as I was in the mirror getting ready for work, thinking about all of this, wondering when/if I'll get my money back, what I'm going to do if I don't, when I will be able to spend a large chunk of a day at the police station filing a report, my lip started twitching crazily. That's never happened before. It's clearly a sign of stress and pent up rage, and I did not like it one bit. It freaked me out, to be honest.

And that's what I get for being...a completely functional, honest, working, well-behaved citizen. 

Fan-fucking-tastic.

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