on Sochi

I love the Olympics. I still have memories of staying up until 2 am as a kid, watching the primetime Olympic coverage to the very end almost every night, if I could get away with it. I love the stories, the drama, watching people who've spent their entire lives working toward Olympic gold triumphing or failing, and the beauty and humanity of the entire spectacle. 

I. Love. Me. Some. Olympics.

I'm feeling a bit unsure about them this year, though. As you probably know, Russia has a new anti-gay law that bans "propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations to minors" i.e. "distributing information among minors that 1) is aimed at the creating nontraditional sexual attitudes, 2) makes nontraditional sexual relations attractive, 3) equates the social value of traditional and nontraditional sexual relations, or 4) creates an interest in nontraditional sexual relations".   Breaking this law can result in hefty fines or jail time.  But in actuality, what this law has done is make it open season on gays in Russia. Hate crimes against gay people in Russia are rampant, are often perpetuated by Russian officials, and the perpetrators of these crimes are not being arrested or in any way disciplined. The gay people they are victimizing are considered the criminals. This, is, obviously, despicable.

Also, last month, another law was being proposed by Russian lawmaker Alexei  Zhuravlyov to strip parenting rights from gay parents who used to be in straight relationships. He says: "In case any parent openly propagates homosexuality and only in this case, if the family splits, a child should exclusively stay with a parent who has heterosexual way of life." I MEAN....What the fuck.

And yet, this place, Russia, where such enormous human rights violations are occurring, is hosting the world's biggest sporting event, where all nations are supposed to come together, put aside their differences, and bond over our shared humanity.

Something's not adding up.

Of course, many human rights groups, governments, and more recently, corporations, are denouncing Russia's laws and calling for a boycott of the Olympics. And a large part of me feels that that's the right thing to do. But what about all of the gay athletes? What are they supposed to do?? They've worked, some of them, their entire lives for the chance to compete in an Olympic Games--how could they just NOT GO??

A few months ago, Johnny Weir, an openly gay figure skater, addressed this question and explained why he feels that athletes, gay or straight, shouldn't boycott the games. Here he is on Keith Olbermann (wearing a Russian military uniform, BY THE WAY):

If you don't want to watch that (like if you happen to find Johnny Weir insufferable...I sometimes find him pompous, and sometimes find him wonderful...it's very confusing), basically he said that it would invalidate all of the sacrifices his family had made for him, and negate his entire life's work, for him to boycott the Olympics, and that this is true for every athlete. He also said that even if people/athletes do boycott the games, the games will still happen, and that not going would give the propaganda more strength. He's saying that, by going, by showing up, specifically as a gay athlete, he will be making a powerful statement. And I get that. But, that being said, Johnny Weir is not actually competing.  He didn't register for the qualifying competition that determined the Olympic team, which strikes me as....odd. If you've spent your whole life as an athlete, why would you not register to qualify for the Olympics???? He will be there though, doing commentary for NBC, but still...weird.

I digress. This post is not supposed to be about Johnny Weir, my bad.

So, my favorite reaction to Russia's terrible politics is that of President Obama, and his decision to send a US delegation with several openly-gay members to the Olympics (including Brian Boitano, who came out publicly as a gay man after being appointed to the delegation--love it), while no one from the president's or vice-president's families will attend. OH SNAP. Read more about this here and here .

Speaking of figure skating (it might be kind of obvious at this point that I really like figure skating?...I really like figure skating, not in small part because it is filled to the brim with gays and I love it), SNL did a great sketch about how things might go if the US tried to make sure that none of the male skaters could be perceived as gay.

Bleak.

The Canadian Institute of Diversity and Inclusion put out this great PSA about how the Olympics "have always been a little gay", which, I mean, OBVIOUSLY. It's just 30 seconds of 2 dudes getting ready to luge. Perfection.

So, with all of this said, I'm still going to watch the Olympics, and will probably watch a LOT of Olympics, and will still love seeing the human drama play out and will love seeing people achieve their dreams and will fiercely root for the underdog. But I'll watch it all with a since of...unease. Because a lot of wrong is happening in Sochi.

But this 

Norwegian Curling Team

will also happen in Sochi, and I am SO HERE FOR THAT.

What are your thoughts on all this? Talk to me, lovelies.

xx

Follow @edie_wyatt  

Mormonsandgays.org

In high school, I had several Mormon friends.  In high school, no one was out as a gay person. At least not in my small social circle. Now, of course, almost everyone I was truly friends with in high school, including the male friend I went to prom with, has come out as gay, including myself.  Funny how that works out.

One of my Mormon high school friends was a "best friend." We talked every day, had lunch together, and ultimately, I attended the non-religious portion of her wedding celebration, as non-Mormons weren't allowed to witness the actual ceremony.  I say this just to highlight that we were close.

At this point, I haven't seen this friend in...probably 8 years? Maybe more.   All of our interaction now is via facebook, and from this, I know that she has 4 children, lives on the west coast, and fervently supported Mitt Romney.  I have not come out to her, but if you look at my facebook page these days, it's very, very obvious that I am gay.

Today, I posted a link on facebook to this picture of an older, interracial gay couple looking overjoyed together at the prospect of being able to get married in Washington state, after over 40 years together.

 This friend commented on the picture, saying something fairly off-color, I think, but I won't quote her here on the off chance that she somehow comes across this very gay blog. The point is that she clearly saw that I posted that picture, and that I was in support of what the picture represents--marriage equality. I commented back in a light-hearted way, in an attempt to not let her weird comment sour the post. Keepin' it light, and all that.

An hour later, she posts a link to this website: Mormonsandgays.org. With no comment. Just a link.

She has NEVER posted anything about gay-ness on her page, and has never before commented on any of the many gay things I post regularly.  But she posts this today. And of course I clicked through.

And it made me sad, what I read. Here's a sample:

Attraction to those of the same sex, however, should not be viewed as a disease or illness. We must not judge anyone for the feelings they experience. Members of the Church who have same-sex attractions, but don’t act on them, can continue to enjoy full fellowship in the church, which includes holding the priesthood, carrying out callings, and attending the temple. Unlike in times past, the Church does not necessarily advise those with same-sex attraction to
marry those of the opposite sex. Same-sex attraction itself is not a sin, but yielding to it is. However, through repentance Jesus Christ will offer forgiveness.

And it goes on, and on, from there.

My reaction to this is confusion and sadness and anger and indignation.  Does this religious organization actually think that having a pastel-hued website for gay people, in which they calmly and lovingly say that it's okay if you're gay, as long as you live your entire life without ever having a sexual relationship, because you can't have sex unless your married, and oh, by the way, marriage is only for a man and a woman, but you can do it, we know you can, because this is your mortal test, and marrying someone of the same sex is morally wrong, and we know it's hard, but don't you worry, we love you!--do they really think that this is supposed to be a comfort??

Really!?? <<insert "Really!!???!! with Seth and Amy" gif here>>

I am baffled, and incensed, and very curious if gay Mormons read that website and are left with a sense of relief and support. I don't see how, unless they somehow fail to notice that between the pretty, well-written lines is an upsetting, depressing message of rejection and support of inequality.

I wonder what my high school friend thinks of this message. I assume that she supports it. I hope that I am wrong.

I would be very curious to hear others' reactions to this--feel free to comment.

What the fuck, world?

I've been feeling diffusely angry and discontent lately. There are many reasons for these feelings, not the least of which is that I'm on a deadline to finish my dissertation by December 6th. 

But today? Today these feelings of  utter despondence with this world were compounded by getting cat-called and harassed twice by male strangers in 3 minutes as I walked home from work today.  As I make the slow trudge home in 90 degree heat-- hungry, needing to pee, and feeling the early pangs of what apparently is some sort of pinched nerve in my lower back-- on two separate occasions, WITHIN THE SPAN OF THREE MINUTES, two different black men think that, likely because I am a black woman, they can express to me their opinion that I am attractive to them in some way. 

The first one walked right up next to me to inform me that I looked "very nice" and then kept calling things after me after I sped up and walked away from him.  The second man is a guy that seems to think we're friends because I walk past him often on my way to and from the subway.  I think this man has often informed me that he "likes my hairstyle" whenever I'm walking to the subway on a Friday night with my hair in it's nice, lesbian-y faux-hawk.  His comments without fail make me annoyed that I can't try to look nice without annoying assholes providing unsolicited commentary.  Today, however, as I walk by, he interrupts his conversation with his fellow loiterers to yell out at me "Hey! Lookin' good girl!" And then, as I refuse to acknowledge that I'm hearing him, "Black girl! Black girl! White girl! White girl! Black girl!" and so on.  I mean, first of all, what?? Second of all, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 

Why is this the kind of bullshit that I have to put up with, most notably on days when I wear a dress or skirt.  I am left significantly more alone if I'm wearing pants.  It didn't matter that I was clearly tired and hot and minding my own business and DO NOT KNOW THESE PEOPLE. I was wearing a skirt and am female and one of few black people in this neighborhood. So of COURSE any other black man in the vicinity has every right to yell at me on the street.

I HATE IT.

And even before this bullshit happened, I was thinking what I've been thinking a lot lately: Not a single soul on this planet was popped into this world with their consent.  We are all here completely without our own choosing.  None of us had any choice to be born or not. And yet here we all are, plopped out into this crowded, hot mess of humanity, and having to find a way to make it through.  And as we try and try to survive, and do the right thing, and contribute to the world in some way, we are bombarded by idiots and victimized and stolen from and discriminated against.

It fucking sucks guys. And we all deserve better.