Lesbian Hodgepodge (Episode 6 of the podcast!)

Hello lovelies! Episode 6 of the New Lesbian Podcast is here!

In this episode, Elle and I discuss some femme lesbian couples we are LOVING right now (specifically, Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli from OITNB), and how seeing femme lesbians in the media matters. We answer some listener questions sent in from ask.fm, including how to prepare for moving in with your girlfriend, then it's a new segment, Peeves and Props, and everyone’s favorite, Who Would You Do: Grey’s Anatomy edition! newlesbianpodcast.wordpress.com




Episode Links:
Samira Wiley on Instagram
Lauren Morelli on Instagram
Samira and Lauren at the Emmys
Lauren Morelli’s open letter
Angel Haze Article
Props of the Week: Blue Stockings Boutique | @BlueStockingsBo
Peeve of the Week: “Faux Lesbian” Weddings? What do you think?
Who Would You Do suggestions? Put ‘em in the comments!

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Relationship advice

I got a really great question on my ask.fm page, and though I answered it over there, I'm going to post it here too.  I feel like this one's important. (By the way, thanks so much to all of you who've been sending in questions!  Keep 'em coming, they'll be talked about in the first episode of the podcast, which Elle and I will be recording this week!)

“You recently wrote that you and your gf went through a tough time. Are things better now and if they are how did you get through it. I’m going through a rough time right now in my relationship and could use some advice”-Anonymous

Things are better between Elle and I now, but it took time.  I think we had about a month to a month and a half that were really hard, and we’ve had hard times before.  A lot of our issues both this time, and in the past, are about our communication—or, actually, about our LACK of communication.  We weren’t talking about how we were really feeling about a lot of things, and weren’t telling each other what we needed (both from the other person, and in our lives in general), and that led to a lot of the problems we were having.

The solution was TALKING. A lot. And talking honestly, and about things that made us feel vulnerable.  I think that each of us heard, and said, things that we maybe would have rather been kept inside, but if we had, we would have continued down a bad road for our relationship, because we would have been pretending that things were okay when they weren’t.

I don’t know the specifics of what’s happening in your relationship, of course, but whatever it is, the most important thing you can do to try to work through it is to talk to each other. About all of it. About every feeling and fear you’re having.  But I think it’s really important to point out that Elle and I didn’t FIGHT to work through our issues. Yes we got loud sometimes, and there were many tears, but you have to talk it out remembering that you’re both on the same team. Try to not to get nasty, unless the intention is for the relationship to end. I know from experience that the nasty things said in tough times leave deep and lasting wounds.  If both of you still want to be together, if you want to get past this tough time and still be together, make sure to remember that and remind each other of that. You have to remember that the whole reason why everything is happening between the two of you is because you love each other, and are trying to make it work, but maybe don’t know how or are scared.  Be kind, even as you are sharing your hurt, or hearing things that hurt you to hear.

I hope this helps, anon. Keep me posted?

xx

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Tumblr Tuesday! (Q&A)

Hi lovelies!
So, this is the first, and possibly last, Tumblr Tuesday, in which I answer the only two asks I've ever gotten on tumblr!

I know...it's pretty thrilling.

So, here's question 1:

Q: What turns you on?

Riiiiight. Not gonna answer that one in terms of, like, specific sex acts, but I will say that I'm turned on by someone who is funny, a bit unpredictable, has a strong personality, is beautiful, and is my girlfriend (hi, babe!).

:)

Moving on! This one is much more interesting anyway:

Q: If two femmes are fucking, who is the dominant one?

Okay. So there are some incorrect assumptions being made here, yes? First, just because someone identifies as a femme lesbian does not mean that they are submissive, just as identifying as butch doesn't mean that someone is dominant in bed, or, you know, "the top." So, there's that. 

Second, there is not necessarily always a "dominant one" in a couple, or a pair of sexual partners.  Maybe one person always like to be the dominant one, calling the shots, deciding who's on top, always being on top, deciding who's legs go where and when, and who's going down on whom and for how long (oooh, is it hot in here?).  But it's also possible for both people to sometimes take on that role, and they might switch off being in control, either over the course of one night, or maybe every other time. Maybe this week Alex is feeling bossy, so she's in control, but then a few days later, she wants to be told what to do a bit, or wants to just be taken care of (which you could argue is actually the power position!) and so Sue is "dominant" that night.  It all just depends on the two people, and how they've decided to negotiate their sex life.

Am I right? Wrong? What do you think, lovely readers? Feel free to talk back to me (and each other!) in the comments!

<3

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