Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tumblr Tuesday! (Q&A)

Hi lovelies!
So, this is the first, and possibly last, Tumblr Tuesday, in which I answer the only two asks I've ever gotten on tumblr!

I know...it's pretty thrilling.

So, here's question 1:

Q: What turns you on?
Riiiiight. Not gonna answer that one in terms of, like, specific sex acts, but I will say that I'm turned on by someone who is funny, a bit unpredictable, has a strong personality, is beautiful, and is my girlfriend (hi, babe!).


Moving on! This one is much more interesting anyway:

Q: If two femmes are fucking, who is the dominant one?

Okay. So there are some incorrect assumptions being made here, yes? First, just because someone identifies as a femme lesbian does not mean that they are submissive, just as identifying as butch doesn't mean that someone is dominant in bed, or, you know, "the top." So, there's that. 

Second, there is not necessarily always a "dominant one" in a couple, or a pair of sexual partners.  Maybe one person always like to be the dominant one, calling the shots, deciding who's on top, always being on top, deciding who's legs go where and when, and who's going down on whom and for how long (oooh, is it hot in here?).  But it's also possible for both people to sometimes take on that role, and they might switch off being in control, either over the course of one night, or maybe every other time. Maybe this week Alex is feeling bossy, so she's in control, but then a few days later, she wants to be told what to do a bit, or wants to just be taken care of (which you could argue is actually the power position!) and so Sue is "dominant" that night.  It all just depends on the two people, and how they've decided to negotiate their sex life.

Am I right? Wrong? What do you think, lovely readers? Feel free to talk back to me (and each other!) in the comments!


1 comment:

  1. So I just discovered you/your blog/your story after reading the xojane article, then I went to your ask.fm thingy and asked if I could share my story with you (takes more than 250 characters) then I followed that to your cynthia nixon post from feb. 2012 and basically shared my story and thoughts in the comment section there. Anyway! I hope that you read it because I would love to hear your thoughts about the fact that I just can't bring myself to identify as a lesbian (because I just don't *feel* like one…and instead identify as a woman who dates women..which I know sounds similar but one is so much more loaded and has a lot more stigma attached to it). Thanks!